April –
I enjoyed your writing style. Your writing flowed throughout your entire essay and was extremely easy to follow. I can totally relate to your issues with cell phones. I swear that they build them just to have them fail so you need to buy a new one. The story about your friend’s ACL and volleyball is so sad. You would never imagine that your ACL could be torn as a result of a super ankle brace. I found a few small grammatical errors in your essay such as when you said “causing the phone to overheated and shut off,” but otherwise thought everything was written very well. Nice job!
Jacqueline –
Just like I said with April, I agree with you that cell phone companies these days are completely absurd. Unfortunately, I think it is already the norm for them to do anything they can to get every cent that they can. I found your writing very interesting. Your transitions were very smooth and your essays were easy to read and very interesting. I found a few grammatical errors. Your essays were very thoughtful and I could tell that you had spent a good amount of time thinking about the subjects discussed. I also enjoyed how you stated that “money rules the airwaves” and I definitely agree with you that the music industry needs to return to its earlier roots. Overall, I really enjoyed your writing and am excited to read more.
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